Sry I called you an 8
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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