Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
