And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
