so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
