All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I need a beard to bite.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
