saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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