dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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