Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
