I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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