he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Randomize
