Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
