I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
