real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
