So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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