I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
