I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
