youre lurking in front of me
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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