i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
