ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
