I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
