I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
