i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
