All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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