i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
