Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
