Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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