Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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