how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
