I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
handjob tips. give me some.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
