Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
