It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
