now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
