Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
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