Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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