Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
