I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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