Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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