Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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