he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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