if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
