your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
