I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
