five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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