what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
