I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
