elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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