and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
