Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
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