ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize