I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize