Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
