im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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