a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Randomize
