i was born a porn star she said
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize