If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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