Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
