Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
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