i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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