everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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