have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
