we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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