did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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